| the home front…. | 10.13.11 |
this week has been an emotional roller coaster for our family…there has been such an amazing out pouring of kind words & questions about what happened, i thought i would share the whole story here…last weekend my eight year old son, Malik wasn’t feeling well….typical flu kinda stuff….fever…cough…stomach ache….on sunday evening things took a turn for the worse…as i was getting him into his pj’s he turned pale white & said he was having a hard time breathing…he had a terrible pain in his lower right abdomen…he wouldn’t let me touch it at all…i stared to feel a bit panicky….so i called his pediatrician to see what we should do….(Malik has had chronic stomach issues since he was quite young, so we were accustom to him having stomach aches….but this was different & i was scared)…our pediatrician was also concerned & suggested we take him to the ER…she thought the best one to go to was Cottage Hospital in santa barabra….so i bundled up the kids & off we went….at this point i am trying to be cool as a cucumber, so that  Malik & his sisters don’t feel my panic….we pulled up to the Cottage Hospital emergency room & i was amazed to find they have a valet in front of the ER…(whoever thought of having a valet at the ER is a genius-thank you)…so i bundled Malik in a blanket & carried him into the ER…yes, he couldn’t stand at this point, because he was in too much pain…we were taken in rather quickly (which is never a good sign-in my experience if you are waiting in the ER for 3 hours or so, they are not too worried about you….if they take you in right away-they are worried…so now i am full blown stressing & trying to keep a poker face for my son….) they ask us a series of questions….& start putting Malik through a series of tests…blood work…x-rays….ultrasound….peeing in a cup (this was a funny moment amidst the stress-i had to help him pee in a cup-his first time ever-then hold the cup to give back to the nurse…he thought that was really funny & told me “i’m gonna tell all my friends you had to hold my pee”….) anyhow, we lay on the ridiculously small ER bed together…i spooned his little body, stroked his hair & sang softly to him…hoping to make him feel safe and calm….at about 1:00am the doctor came in & told me he had acute appendicitis & would need to go in for emergency surgery….what the %$&#…as a mother you really never want to hear the word “emergency” or “surgery” in reference to your child…but putting them together in the same sentence, i think i turned pale white….my son started crying & asked me if they were going to drill a whole in him…my sweet son had no idea what “surgery” was & was terrified….at this point my mothering skills went to a new level…i calmly explained they would not drill a whole in him & that everything would be alright….the good news at this point was that his appendix had not burst….and that even though he would be the first surgery in the morning, he was in no immediate danger…ok…we were going to be ok…he was going to be ok….i explained to him that they would put him to sleep & he wouldn’t feel a thing, he was not convinced & explained sometimes when he was asleep he would wake up, so what if he woke up in the middle of surgery?? i assured him this would not happen & that i would be there as soon as he woke up….so they admitted us & he was in a proper hospital bed not too long after….id’ like to say that Malik was very brave throughout his ordeal…this little boy, who at his last vaccination literally tried to escape & had to be held down by three people to received 1 shot….actually sat still & buried his little head in my shoulder…he whimpered a little as they took his blood from one arm & inserted an IV in the other-seriously brave little boy….so the next couple of hours were a bit of a blur…i slept on & off in a chair next to his hospital bed…nurses were checking his vitals every hour or so…around 6:30am the surgeon came in & said Malik was going into surgery first thing (all the other cases were bumped back to fit him in)…ok…ok…so we were in motion….the wheeled his bed down the hall….we were taken into a room right outside of the operating room (the recovery room i think)….they put the little blue hat on him…he looked so little to me….a series of people came & talked to us…a couple of nurses…the anesthesiologist…another surgeon….at 6:45 the took him into the operating room….i kissed his little cheeks & told him it would be ok….after he was out of sight i burst into tears…i realize alot of people consider an appendectomy “routine surgery” but there is nothing routine about seeing your child go into to surgery…i would have changed places with him in a second….& to add to the stress of the situation 4 years earlier my husband’s best friend had an appendectomy & very unexpectedly passed away…so i was terrified….about 30 minutes in, someone from the hospital staff told me that my son was having some breathing problems & they were pulling him out of surgery to give him some breathing treatments…what the #&%@…after he had a series of breathing treatments he would go back in to have the surgery….what the &%$*….apparently while on the operating table about to be put under Malik had started wheezing…the anesthesiologist thought it was unsafe to put him under….at this point i think i am the one who may need a breathing treatment…ok…to make a long story short…the next 6 hours were filled with breathing treatments & tests….the breathing treatments were administered by a respiratory specialist & were meant to open up his lung capacity so he could safely handle being put under for his surgery….after 3 breathing treatments….he also had another x-ray…and went in for another ultrasound of his abdomen….while he was in his ultrasound about 6 doctors came in….his surgeon…a radiologist & a bunch of others…it was really a blur at this point…the radiologist turned to us & said, there has been a mistake (i don’t think he used the word “mistake” but it was the gist of it)…basically Malik he felt had been mis-diagnosed….what the %&$#….& he did not need surgery at all….double what the &%$#…..he new diagnosis was this…he has asthma…& he had a virus…the virus had caused a bunch of lymph nodes in his stomach to enlarge (which was quite painful & mimicked the signs of appendicitis)…the infection had also caused his appendix to be slightly enlarged, again prompting the “acute appendicitis” diagnosis…..i was having a hard time digesting (no pun intended) all of this information…as i looked at all of the doctors in the room…i had both a feeling of relief & disbelief…my son had almost had UNNECESSARY SURGERY….he was on the table…under the big lights…& because he breathing was a little off, he was spared UNNECESSARY SURGERY…i still can’t fully comprehend what happened….we are home now…he is ok…he has been diagnosed with asthma…so he has been home all week on bed-rest & is taking asthma medicine 4 times a day…we are following up with appointments with both his pediatrician & a pediatric gastroenterologist…i know he is feeling much better because he is driving me crazy…i never thought i would love to hear him talk back & irritate his sisters so much…xoxo
while in the hospital i told Malik he could have any kind
of ice cream he wanted when we got home…he chose a hot
fudge sunday with both chocolate & strawberry sauce…
with whip cream & 5 cherries….
_______________________________________
oh & after very little sleep & an emotional roller coaster i stumbled back the ER to retrieve my care…the sweet valet attendant got my car within moments & happily handed me my keys with a smile…
a little more sweetness....
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October 13th, 2011 at 12:11 pm
Prayers to Malik, Momma, and all of the family. So glad that the surgery didn’t happen, but so scary to realize that it was so close to happening. Get well soon Malik!
October 13th, 2011 at 12:13 pm
WOW! words do not even express how scary that probably was for you and him. Im so glad he is on the mend!
October 13th, 2011 at 12:15 pm
Thank you for sharing something so personal, scary, and emotional. I found myself feeling just as emotional and scared for you and your son. I don’t even know you or your son, nor do I have any children to empathize with. I am so thankful that everything turned out okay. Praise the Lord!
October 13th, 2011 at 12:21 pm
That sounds terrifying! Kudos to your son for his bravery.
October 13th, 2011 at 12:21 pm
Oh my gosh – I am in tears… what a scary, incredible story – thank you for sharing & I’m so glad he’s healthy & happy!!
October 13th, 2011 at 12:22 pm
oh my goodness Elizabeth! As a mother of 2, I feel your pain…my little on was on a surgery 2 months ago and it is so scary indeed. Glad he’s home now and getting better. kisses and hugs to you for keeping strong.
October 13th, 2011 at 12:28 pm
OMG! I can imagine the type of fear and panic you were in. I have two of my own and I would have been hysterical myself. Thanks for sharing your story with us. Next time my kids complain of a belly ache i will take it more seriously. I am just glad malik is fine and the surgery went well. God bless, and protect you and your family. xoxo
October 13th, 2011 at 12:32 pm
My goodness! What a roller coaster for you and your family. Thank goodness Malik is alright and still has his appendix!
The photo of him with his fabulous ice cream creation is priceless <3
October 13th, 2011 at 12:32 pm
Wow. So intense. Glad he’s doing ok now
October 13th, 2011 at 12:57 pm
I’m so glad he’s ok! Thank goodness!
October 13th, 2011 at 1:14 pm
Holy cow Elizabeth–so sorry you all had to go through this. Glad the boy’s feeling better.
October 13th, 2011 at 1:16 pm
You are such a good momma. That story was so inspiring to hear how you laid with your son, stroked his hair and kept him calm. What a tough job being a mom!! Thank you for being such a wonderful example, Elizabeth!
October 13th, 2011 at 1:29 pm
Oh wow. I’m so sorry you and your little guy had to go through all that and so happy to hear he is feeling better.
October 13th, 2011 at 1:53 pm
Wow! What an emotional roller coaster for sure! Thank God everything worked out for the best! You did an amazing job… he’s a very lucky boy.
October 13th, 2011 at 2:05 pm
Hi Elizabeth, I don’t know you or your family, but stumbled upon your blog today and almost cried reading this post. WOW….I am so happy that your little man didn’t need surgery, but what an ordeal. Isn’t it an amazing thing how our “parent” instincts just kick in right when they need to! Big Hugz to you for doing what you do best – taking care of you and your own. I hope Malik is feeling better very soon. xoxo, Chelle
October 13th, 2011 at 3:05 pm
Oh Elizabeth. I welled up just imagining the turmoil you have been through. Our capacity to love (and worry) as mothers is insurmountable. What an incredible blessing of timing that they stopped the surgery. Praying he will continue to improve. I hope he ate that ice cream all up
October 13th, 2011 at 3:12 pm
Wow, Elizabeth! Thank God they those breathing problems stopped them from putting him under!! Oh, such a terribly frightening thing…my (*only*) 42 year old future mother-in-law had open heart surgery in May, and we just found out it was unnecessary…no blockage, just spasms in her arteries…and could have just been treated with meds…it makes you think ‘how often do these kind of things happen?!’
I’m so so glad your little boy is doing well!! And good job, mama! So so strong!!
October 13th, 2011 at 3:29 pm
thank you all for your comments & support….it’s been amazing how many other people have similar stories….i feel very grateful that he did not have unnecessary surgery…i was also felt so sad for all of the other children in the hospital…so many mommies are dealing with sick children & my heart goes out to them….
on another note…please forgive the quality of the photos, as i only had my i-phone during our ordeal;)
hope everyone has a beautiful day….
xoxo…elizabeth
October 13th, 2011 at 3:41 pm
How frightening, and amazing! Malik’s body just would not let those doctors get it wrong! For some reason I feel compelled to send you links to the book “Cooking for Isaiah” because I wonder if your little fella’s stomach problems are food related. I discovered at 35 that I had been allergic to wheat all my life and I went from being chronically ill, to very well. Silvana Nardone has written a beautiful book about being a mother and it’s full of yumminess.
http://silvanaskitchen.com/book-2/
http://www.amazon.com/Cooking-Isaiah-Gluten-Free-Dairy-Free-Delicious/dp/1606521659
October 13th, 2011 at 3:58 pm
You’re a terrific Mom, honey. I’m so glad it all turned out the way it did.
October 13th, 2011 at 4:09 pm
My eyes welled up with tears just reading this! What a terrifying situation to be put in
Sounds like you have a tough little guy on your hands!
October 13th, 2011 at 4:20 pm
You are so loved! Thank heavens for the Silver Lining that came in the form of the Anesthesiologist. What a GIFT. The sunday looks AMAZING. A sweet new perspective….
October 13th, 2011 at 5:24 pm
Good Lord!!!! No wonder you sounded so tired!! How horrifying! Elizabeth you are one awesome Mom. Well done. I will talk with you soon.
Tons of love!
Tricia
October 13th, 2011 at 6:25 pm
Elozabeth, I am so sad to hear about your son but am so relieved that he is okay. That must have been one heck of a night. But you did everything right and are a fantastic mom.
Moments like that always help us remember how lucky and blessed we are.
October 13th, 2011 at 6:27 pm
What a scary, crazy whirlwind!! Thank goodness he’s now home and properly diagnosed.
October 13th, 2011 at 6:36 pm
i’m so sorry you guys had to go through all of that. how awful and what a huge relief all at the same time. i’m seriously in shock they almost gave him unnecessary surgery…that’s so scary! glad everyone is on the mend. you were so brave for your lil guy and i can only imagine that was the hardest thing ever. sending your family lots of positive thoughts and wishes!
October 13th, 2011 at 6:52 pm
I am so glad that he is ok. God has a way of making it all work out for our good. His need of a breathing treatment at the beginning of surgery….All you can say is BUT GOD. That stopped the surgery, so Malik definitely has a sweet angel with him. I prayed for your strength as a Mama & Malik when I saw your tweet about the surgery. What a powerful story Elizabeth. Simply powerful.
October 13th, 2011 at 7:37 pm
how frightening for the misdiagnosis! i was in tears as i read your post, i could only imagine what you must have been going through. im glad malik is well. and im glad he didnt have to have surgery. that is one scary mommy moment i hope to never experience…hugs to your family. <3
October 13th, 2011 at 8:35 pm
Elizabeth, I am so glad Malik is doing well. I went through a situation with my teenage daughter this summer, a horrible situation I never want to live through agian. Due to the nature of the situation I cannot tell you about it on your blog other than it ended up with a 7 day stay in the hospital. You are so lucky to have such great friend and family. I am fairly new to the wedding coordination, in business for 2 years, love my job! But the week this was going on, I had a bride very angry, still angry with me, because I wasn’t able to get her to a invitation consultant at the right time. I explained the situation and she basically did not care. It was very heartening to hear how everyone rallied around you.
You are an inspiration.
Tami
October 13th, 2011 at 8:36 pm
What a heart-wrenching post, Elizabeth. I am so sorry that you all had to experience this! My thoughts are with each and every one of you. Here’s to lots more ice cream sundaes
October 13th, 2011 at 9:59 pm
wishing him well
October 13th, 2011 at 11:25 pm
That’s crazy!!!!! I was in tears reading this, holy cow. I’m so thankful that everything is ok and Malik is doing well, what a scare!! *&*(*!!
October 13th, 2011 at 11:26 pm
That’s crazy!!!!! I was in tears reading this, holy cow. I’m so thankful that everything is ok and Malik is doing well, what a scare!! *&*(*!! You are such a great momma.
October 13th, 2011 at 11:27 pm
So glad your little one is doing much better.
Someone was watching over Malik.
October 14th, 2011 at 2:42 am
So sorry to hear about all of this! What a horrible experience.
As a child who underwent a similar emergency aged 8 though, I can promise you that ALL of my memories are of the love and attention I received! I even got to do a show and tell at school with my hospital wristband. I remember being spoilt (like that ice-cream, yum), and I remember the ambulance ride to hospital, but I remember little about being in there beside everyone rushing to be with me. Hope that makes you feel a little better x
October 14th, 2011 at 7:05 am
Glad Malik came through it like a champ
Your story was both frightening and enlightening. Thank your for sharing.
October 14th, 2011 at 7:34 am
Oh wow. That was a roller coaster ride and just the way you wrote this, amazing! Drew me into the scene and I found myself out of my world and into yours that night. The only thing that kept me going was the fact that I knew everything would be a ok! Wow what a scare that must have been and I am so happy that he is fine now! God bless you and yours! Great job being a phenomenal mom. xx
October 14th, 2011 at 3:02 pm
Wow! What a WILD ride! I’m glad everything worked out, and Malik is healthy (for the most part.) Sending you and your family good thoughts.
October 14th, 2011 at 8:01 pm
so touched by your experience…what a pillar of strength you were. prayers for Malik.
October 15th, 2011 at 10:35 am
Sweet friend,
I cannot tell you how sorry I am that I did not know any of this until we spoke on the phone yesterday. I finally got a break in my work to read this and I am so grateful that your baby is home and doing well. What a relief. I have been through this sort of mother fear before and it is beyond words. Sending you so much love, my dear, beautiful Elizabeth.
xoxox
Merryl
October 15th, 2011 at 12:01 pm
you might be interested in a book called “Healing the New Childhood Epidemics: Autism, Asthma, Allergies, and ADHD”
The book’s author has cured many children through a change in diet.
It is all natural.
My love is with you.
October 15th, 2011 at 11:18 pm
So happy Malik is alright and on the mend, despite the insanity of the day. Glad you all of off of that rollercoaster, xx
L
October 16th, 2011 at 9:28 am
Oh Momma,
What a rough turn of events. I’m so glad he’s doing better. Here’s to ice cream, medical intervention (sometimes) and a sane mind. Breathe!
October 16th, 2011 at 1:39 pm
Hi Elizabeth,
I am so sorry to hear about this and I feel horrible now that I know what you meant duirng our call. I am glad and grateful that Malik is on the way to receovery and mom is doing well too
May angels always surround you and your family.
May God Bless and keep you and the family!
Sending you a very BIG hug and lots of love,
Sade
October 17th, 2011 at 4:31 am
That back and forth fussing must have been like music to your ears. Here’s to that big fluffy dessert and many more to come.
October 17th, 2011 at 9:06 am
Beautiful Woman, I sit here in Houston, Texas pondoring…. I visit your site regularly because it always makes me feel so good. So how can I give to you, instead of take. Yes I will say that I have said a prayer for you and your precious family. But I also wanted you to know that I support you. I know this episode in life will remain fresh in your mind for quite a while. In your quiet moments of reflection tap into that support. Thank you for what you do,,, not just for your family, which is most important but for kindred spirits who visit your site.
May your day be filled with peace.
October 19th, 2011 at 8:26 am
So grateful that Malik is recovering well. What a scary ordeal! Lots of love to your beautiful family, Elizabeth…looks like the roller coaster returned to the station and you’re all safe and sound.
October 20th, 2011 at 6:06 am
I’m not sure what your belief system is, but God intervened just in time to spare your little boy. Amazing! So glad to see he’s back to himself and you sure are one brave momma!
October 22nd, 2011 at 11:57 am
Poor baby! I’m glad to hear he is doing better! Even though I don’t know you or Malik I wish I could give him a big hug! Hopefully you can do that for me!
October 22nd, 2011 at 3:49 pm
Talk about perfect timing. I am so glad your son is OK! I wish Malik a speedy recovery with lots more ice cream! The best to you & yours.
I read your blog all the time & you have the most beautiful posts! I just started my first blog and thank you for the wonderful inspiration!
xo Kelly
http://helloboudreau.blogspot.com/
November 24th, 2011 at 7:01 pm
After reading this…and especially getting to the party that he was “spared the unnecessary surgery” All i can say is, it was Gods Grace. <3 may His goodness continue to be poured onto your family
January 19th, 2012 at 10:26 pm
I am so sorry to hear you guys went through this. Thank goodness they did not perform the unnecessary surgery to your sweet son.
Being a parent is the best thing ever, but can be so gut wrenching.
Malik looks charming + so happy with that ice cream sundae.