| head over heels…. | 10.19.10 |
have you ever been head over heels in love?
once upon a time…long ago, i was slayed…my first love had me upside down…i couldn’t think straight…i was not prepared for how confusing it would be….there were moments of incredible kindness…slow kisses & love letters..compliments & smiles….we were so young…i could not imagine how anything so beautiful could end….but it did…he left me…he left…and he didn’t come back…talk about being head over heels….i could hardly get out of bed…i couldn’t bare to eat…everything hurt my feelings, even food….the only thing i could pallet were occasional spoonfuls of plain yogurt (think of the break up scene in the 1st sex & the city movie-like that)….i would watch TV without seeing…fall into a restless sleep….wake up, only to realize all over again, that he left me….and it hurt like the first moment he left….i would walk through the house looking for something, only to see the couch & feel it was mocking me…when i could muster the energy i would get in my car & drive…going nowhere, trying somehow to get away from the ache inside my heart, to no avail…so time is miraculous…after a while i let go somehow…i healed…it hurt a little less each day…i fell in love again…my life is rich & full….i am lucky….happy in ways i could never have imagined….and yet there are moments when i remember the searing pain that branded my heart & changed me forever….i still cannot fully believe he left me, but he did….and heartache is never gone, but rather woven into the texture of my memories… i think i love better because of it…i cherish & tend to my relationship now thoughtfully & with great appreciation…i am still not sure why my first love left me….but i am so glad he did…being head over heels is good for your soul, no matter what the outcome…it is wonderful to have a change of perspective….so mr. heartbreak, you know who you are…i wish you well & thank you for loving me & leaving me, my life is so much richer for both experiences….true story…xoxo
a little more sweetness....
 |  |  | |  | |
October 19th, 2010 at 1:14 am
I remember the feeling of heartbreak well….maybe one day they will realize how much they gave up!
October 19th, 2010 at 3:08 am
Hi Elizabeth, I always come here to see tour lovely work… but today… besides all that you brought a great life story!!! xoxoxoxo Your big fan from Brazil. Marina
October 19th, 2010 at 8:50 am
This made me cry both tears of joy and bittersweet. It still hurts and I will never understand why…but I am better for it. I learned that some lessons have to come with pain in order for us to remember not to do it again and to appreciate the good love that is destined to come. Bless our hearts for their ability to love even after heartbreak.
October 19th, 2010 at 9:31 am
This is such a beautiful story-written and otherwise! And so true for so many! Thanks for sharing! Xo
October 19th, 2010 at 9:34 am
It always feels like just yesterday, even years later, right?!
October 19th, 2010 at 9:40 am
I’ve been following your website for a few short weeks, and I absolutely love it. I like this post. I feel like love and heartbreak are so intertwined. I often wonder how I will explain to my daughter the story of my first love, and the story of my true love, my husband. Love this post.
October 19th, 2010 at 9:57 am
oh, Elizabeth…lovely, and bittersweet…
October 19th, 2010 at 1:04 pm
I cannot wait for the time when someone looks at me and the rest of the world disappears. At the same time, this terrifies me to the core…the last one to whom I gave my love so freely broke me into a million teeny pieces. And now, it has been years…so the thought excites me and freaks me out. But, a deserving one will claim my heart, I know…because I have so much love to give. Thank you so much for sharing your story and humanness.
October 19th, 2010 at 1:05 pm
Thanks for sharing this story; a great reminder of how time heals our souls and makes our love more mature with each experience.
October 24th, 2010 at 5:57 am
You amaze me. Beautiful photography. Beautiful writing. Beautiful spirit. Thank you for sharing this. xo
October 26th, 2010 at 5:19 am
Xandra, You describe the pain and confusion of lost love so aptly. It’s moving to see how the blinding initial pain can become a strong, embellishing thread in the fabric of future love. Thank you for telling your story. It gives me hope for my next chapter(s). XO, Shelley
October 26th, 2010 at 5:23 am
Whoops, wrong blog! Elizabeth, beautiful writing, touching story, see above! Blushingly (but not because I’m the bride), Shelley
November 9th, 2010 at 4:39 am
These words are ridiculously divine !!! If you don’t mind I would love to print them on my own blog, Chasing Rainbows Kissing Frogs … Your words are pretty much what the title of my blog evokes… the idea of chasing after that perfect love, that dream, that painless emotion… but along the way, we kiss a few frogs.
I love your work. And your words take me to another place… love !!!!
Frog Princess xx
November 11th, 2010 at 1:42 pm
I had a similar experience, I fell in love for the first time and it ended terribly. Years later, I’m in love again but I still hurt when I think about my past break-up. And I thought it was a terrible thing to still feel heartbreak over something that happened so long ago, but your post makes me smile because I can now articulate how I feel about it! Beautiful post (:http://www.kissthegroom.com/2010/10/my-love/