kiss the groom

have you ever been head over heels in love?

once upon a time…long ago, i was slayed…my first love had me upside down…i couldn’t think straight…i was not prepared for how confusing it would be….there were moments of incredible kindness…slow kisses & love letters..compliments & smiles….we were so young…i could not imagine how anything so beautiful could end….but it did…he left me…he left…and he didn’t come back…talk about being head over heels….i could hardly get out of bed…i couldn’t bare to eat…everything hurt my feelings, even food….the only thing i could pallet were occasional spoonfuls of plain yogurt (think of the break up scene in the 1st sex & the city movie-like that)….i would watch TV without seeing…fall into a restless sleep….wake up, only to realize all over again, that he left me….and it hurt like the first moment he left….i would walk through the house looking for something, only to see the couch & feel it was mocking me…when i could muster the energy i would get in my car & drive…going nowhere, trying somehow to get away from the ache inside my heart, to no avail…so time is miraculous…after a while i let go somehow…i healed…it hurt a little less each day…i fell in love again…my life is rich & full….i am lucky….happy in ways i could never have imagined….and yet there are moments when i remember the searing pain that branded my heart & changed me forever….i still cannot fully believe he left me, but he did….and heartache is never gone, but rather woven into the texture of my memories… i think i love better because of it…i cherish & tend to my relationship now thoughtfully & with great appreciation…i am still not sure why my first love left me….but i am so glad he did…being head over heels is good for your soul, no matter what the outcome…it is wonderful to have a change of perspective….so mr. heartbreak, you know who you are…i wish you well & thank you for loving me & leaving me, my life is so much richer for both experiences….true story…xoxo